Robert Wesley Irby

Robert Wesley Irby was born in Cocoa Beach, Florida, on November 24, 1968, to Wesley Childs Irby IV, who worked as an engineer for NASA during the Apollo Missions, and Mary Hilan Marler Irby, a schoolteacher, of Ruston, Louisiana. However, the Irbys soon moved to the boomtown of Plano, Texas – then small, now larger than Buffalo – and that became Robert’s home.

Robert grew up Christian, was a member of Meadows Baptist Church from the days of his youth, and was excellent at sports – a member of the football team, a wrestler, and a star in soccer in baseball before serious injuries to his knee and elbow damaged his chances of playing beyond high school. His love for sports never ceased, and he followed the Dallas Cowboys, Texas A&M Aggies, Dallas Mavericks, Texas Rangers, Dallas Stars, and Newcastle FC with unceasing loyalty.

He loved American history and was delighted by his extended family, who had settled in Virginia before the U.S.A. was even a country; he loved cars, music, movies, and video games. His hometown was the place to be, and he was proud of it and his alma mater, Plano East Senior High, where he stood out for his muscular build, incredible hair, untied red Converse, and sarcastic, often obnoxious sense of humor.

His charisma, intellect, and popularity had given him every advantage as he left Plano for College Station, trading black and gold for maroon and white. At Texas A&M, he studied finance, married his first wife, Cathy, and had a son named Robert Taylor Irby – Taylor, as he’s known – in 1992.

But suddenly, Robert was forced to learn the limits of his natural advantages; his marriage ended, and his son was diagnosed with Type One diabetes before he could form a sentence, and later celiac disease. The walls closed in, and Robert, who had always seemed controlled and confident, became vulnerable – something he also proved to be good at.

Robert navigated the obstacles of instability within the mortgage and lending world, working as an underwriter. He was good at his job, but jobs were moving targets. He eventually found work in Maryland, and felt at home from the instant he arrived. He loved Maryland’s seasons, its cherry blossoms and azaleas, its hardwood floors, rowhouses, parks, and lighthouses. He loved the skies, which seemed bluer off the Atlantic, and his sense of connection to the forebearers of the Irby name, who had settled the Chesapeake Region and been contemporaries of Revolutionary War patriots.

Most of all, he loved Shari Anderson, whom he met shortly upon arrival. Shari was honest, uninhibited, and opinionated; this refreshed Robert to no end, because he could freely lay down his shields and arrows and finally be the person he had always wanted to be with no pretense or expectation for anything else. In that freedom, he found a peace he could never again live without, so he asked Shari to marry him, and she said yes. Robert and Shari wed on September 16, 2000, remaining intensely in love ever since.

But Robert also deeply loved his son, Taylor, who was still living in the suburbs of Dallas, and wanted to remain connected to him throughout his entire youth. So, as Robert decided to make Maryland his home, he also committed to returning to Texas every two weeks until Taylor was out of the house where he grew up. Robert never wavered, seeing that commitment through to its completion, hardly missing a single appointment.

As he let down his walls, he showed what deep compassion, perspective, empathy, leniency, and trustworthiness he was capable of. As he became more centered on what was important, he was free to surround himself with the people who loved him – not for an image or an act, but for the real person inside – fiercely loyal, observant, quirky, and unbridled.

Diseases and infections eventually plagued Robert, but he maintained his unique brand of humor, which could gnaw like a relentless saw. And yet, it was always delivered with a wryness of smile and a gleam of eye that reminded you it was meant to entertain, not harm. In the end, his humor won you over – so unique it will be buried with him and never quite replicated.  His temperament was ubiquitously optimistic and playful – strangely contagious – even as cancer ate away at his insides and operations shook him loose from his career and passions.

Robert’s soul ascended to Paradise at 3:19 PM on September 7, 2025 – his father’s 80th birthday. On the first full Sunday of NFL football – a day he annually longed for – he went to God amid all the peace and tranquility a man ever had. Robert didn’t struggle for even his final breath; as his soul absconded, someone present could hear a pin drop. He no longer suffers today, renewed by Christ in the newness of a strong and permanent body that will never throb, never be sick, and never break down. Most of all, Robert meets his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who greets him face-to-face with words he’s ached for his whole life: “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Upon arrival in Heaven, Robert was greeted by his grandparents, Wesley Childs Irby IV and Marna Newman Irby, Robert Edgar Jackson and Mary Hilan Marler Jackson, and her first husband, Truman Marler, who passed away young, who Robert is eagerly meeting for the first time; his Uncle Paul Meyer, who passed in 2023, and his nephew Logan Ryan Jones, who died of Leukemia at age 19 in 2016. He is survived by his wife, Shari, his son, Taylor, her brother, Mike and his partner Roe, his nephew Chris and his partner Cara, and great nephew Princeton, great niece Izabella and niece by heart Annikah and nephew by heart Maddix; his mother, Mary Hilan, father Wesley, sister Hilan, his brother Mat, sister-in-law Kelly, and their two daughters, Lottie and Sadie. He is also survived by his Uncle Harold, Aunt Becky, Aunt Carolyn, and cousins Margaret, Hunter, Barry, Dan, Connie, Woodson, Sarah, Betsy, Paxton, Marnie, Susan, Amanda, Morgan, Cade, Sydney, and Emma.

The viewing and service will be held on Saturday, September 13, 2025 at Crenshaw United Methodist Church, 200 Church Street, Blackstone, VA 23824.  Viewing will be at 11am followed by lunch.  The church service will be at 1 pm.  Immediately after the service, Robert will be laid to rest in Lakeview Cemetery in Blackstone.  In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to Operation Paws for Homes at www.ophrescue.org.  Arrangements are by the Joseph McMillian Funeral Home, 1826 Cox Rd., Blackstone, VA  23824.   www.mcmillianfuneralhome.com

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